Falling Out of Love
Feb 14th signifies two things for me
1. It's Valentine's day which happens to be one of my favorite holidays (yes. it's a holiday to me). It's a day about giving, love, and passion.
2. It marks seven months since I launched my website.
...and here I am starting over again. To be honest I became inoncistent with what I was putting out. Having a blog went from being something that I loved to wondering why I did it. Pressure of perfection started to get to me. Having to always "be on" or "be somehwere." I fell out of love with what I was passionate about. It always felt more like work rather than enjoyment. I missed that.
I took a step back for a while then came back to it and it still didn't feel right. I did something that it took me a while to really figure out how to do: just be. Exist. Be present.
During this time I sat down and wrote out lessons learned adjusted my business plans, goals, and more so mental place.
- Being good at something doesn't equal being passionate about it nor does being passionate about something mean being good. I'm passionate as hell when singing in my shower but am I good at it..debateable but you get the gist. It's ok to not be good at everthing. I've always had that pressure on me to be good at every single thing and if you aren't then it's your fault. That's not true. You are called to do specific things, not everything.
- Comparison is literally the theif of joy. We live in a world where social media drives so much and I caught myself constantly trying to figure why I wasn't growing as fast, at a certain place, and a multitude of other things. It can swallow you if you let it. I had to dig myself out of doubt and reluctancey. I owe that to my friends, the people that support me, and more so myself.
- Take your time. Simple. Don't rush. Let it happen.
I am down to my last nine months of my twenties. I intend to give it everything I have. I will mess up, break down, be happy, cry, scream tears of excitement, and probably have no idea what I am doing most of the time, but what I do know is that I will do it my way. Keep learning as I go, both taking in and giving out gems, and just being. Exist.