The Lesson of #TWENTYFINE
Wait. So I'm seriously about to turn 30?!?
I can truthfully say that I am good with numbers. Math was a subject that I despised but I just happened to be good at. I look at numbers and trends all day at work. Needless to say, they are everywhere in my life. Imagine my surprise when I realized that 29 was right before 30 and that this is my last season in my 20s.
At one point I believed that you become an adult at the age of 25. Shortly after I realized I still had no clue what I was doing, my mind underwent a vicissitude and I decided that it was at 27 you have it together. At 28 I realized I still wasn't ready for adulthood and that 29 was just one step closer to being a "grown ass woman". It just sounds grown. So many expectations of 30, where you are supposed to be in life, and pressures of family and friends to have it figured out. The day I turned 29 I finally realized that I have been an adult; part of being able to say that I will not ever have it all the way together and being 100% ok that fact.
Not to sound head ass in any sense but from the outside looking in people often question me when I say I don't have my life together. "But you travel, have a good job, nice car," etc. That may be true however my mental space doesn't always reflect my physical place. Transparency has been a reoccurring theme this year so I'm going to be upfront and tell yall that I do not. I always have talks with myself saying "sis...get your shit together. You don't own a home yet. Still have student loan debt. Responsibilities out of the ass but you get up and want to start a blog and a business. Is this really smart?" I daily am figuring out ways to get it together and quite frankly some days I am an absolute mess and mental nutcase. There is a reason that we tend to choose pictures that purposely capture the beautiful moments in our lives.
I made a promise to myself and making one to you too so hold me accountable here, that in this season I intend to live my best life. For years I have carried the expectations of others on me and I'm tired as hell. So I have set up some boundaries, put "no" as a keyword in my vocabulary and plan to live to the utmost degree of amazingness.